A mother’s story of self-renewal: How I reclaimed, rejuvenated, and re-balanced my life.
My story really begins when I had children. That’s when my life changed, for the better, of course, but drastically changed. I no longer lived life for myself… there was a greater purpose. I now live for them. Everything I do, I do for them.
You know that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? Well, that’s a nice saying… if you have a village nearby to help. My husband and I moved away from our “village” shortly after we had our first child when my husband took a great job out of state. I, personally, had never been away from my family, and I mean all of my family… parents, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents… everyone lived in close proximity. Moving away from that comfort was a complete shock to say the least, and knowing that I now had the incredible responsibility of raising a child without outside help and keeping my marriage strong was very stressful. We were all we had, and I needed to make sure we were going to be able to do this!
I know how very difficult it is to balance all aspects of our lives. To top it all off, I have been a perfectionist all of my life. Anything I did, I did not stop until it was perfect. That can be daunting, and even more so when there is more than one thing to focus on. For a long time after we first moved, I focused solely on my daughter. I wanted to make sure she had everything, every opportunity, and every exposure possible. But with that strive for perfection as a mom, other areas of my life suffered. There was a lack of focus on my relationship with my husband and my own health. All of my time was spent checking library schedules, playdate opportunities, Pinterest activities, Groupons for awesome outings… all so that I made sure I did what I could do to be what I considered to be the best mom. I felt as though I was accomplishing something important, but that was truly all I was accomplishing.
Fast forward two years later, we were blessed with another addition to the family, our son. With that came a little chaos. Everything that had worked with one child did not necessarily work with two. I was typically outnumbered and could no longer devote my time to just one child. There were two humans that needed my undivided attention. All of our daily activities dwindled. I was EXHAUSTED at every hour of the day. The house was a mess and most days I was still in my pajamas when my husband got home from work. The children were always well taken care of, but that was about all I could do in a day. It was a very tough time. I was doing it all on my own while my husband worked a full-time job. Once again, I had no one to help me. I simply could not adjust to the changes.
I certainly was not at the top of my own priority list. In fact, I was nowhere near the top… definitely closer to the bottom. It was a little over a year after my son was born that I was out by myself shopping. I was looking at baby clothes when someone came up to me and asked if I was having a boy or a girl. I was not pregnant. It struck me hard that day, and it was the moment when I realized that I had lost control of my life and that I needed to do something to get me, to get us, back on track.
In May 2015, I finally took a leap of faith and decided to join a 21-Day Fix Challenge. I had seen infomercial after infomercial during late night feedings with my son. I had always been incredibly skeptical of the results, but it wasn’t until I saw someone I actually KNEW that was getting amazing results that I realized it was something that could work for me. I committed, wholeheartedly, with my husband by my side. We decided to do this together – to help each other and hold each other accountable.
By October 2015, I had lost 42 pounds and reached a goal weight that I had never imagined possible. I felt more energy than I ever had even before we had children. I was playing with them both again, going to the park and play dates again, enjoying every moment. The laundry was getting done, dinner was on the table every night, and the house was being picked up. My husband and I were laughing again, enjoying each other again. There was balance in the home.
Interestingly enough, not only did I transform myself physically, but I had a complete transformation internally, as well. I found myself gravitating toward like-minded people, people who had a positive outlook on life. The positivity was adding fuel to my fire, giving me the drive to continue moving forward. I began to feel much more confident in myself and I began to help others do the same for themselves. The compound effect of this process has been astounding. I changed my life, but in the process, I began to change the lives of so many others, and that, to me, is more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined.
You know, I’m not perfect. I can tell you that there are areas where I struggle at times. There are things that do not always get done on a certain day. As much as I wanted everything to be perfect when I had my daughter, they simply cannot be. What I have learned, though, through this journey, is that there are times when a certain aspect of your life needs more of you, and another needs less, and vice versa. It is the way in which we make choices in our lives to focus on what is important at that moment that will make our lives more balanced. Make time for your mind… Make time for your body… Make time for your health… Make time for your family. They are all equally important, and if we just take the time for each of those areas every day, as perfectly imperfect as they may be, we will reach a level of balance that will create a sense of peace and satisfaction in our lives.
Let me help you make your life simpler, yet more fulfilled… peaceful, yet more exciting… busy, yet balanced!